Imagine you’ve just gone through a breakup, and I mean one of those breakups. The kind where you don’t cry into ice cream; you plot. Now imagine instead of sending an ill-advised text at 2 AM, you grab a guitar, crank the distortion, and write a song that absolutely scorches your ex from existence. That’s “Cool Story, Bro” by Lauren Ash.
Breakup songs usually fall into two categories: sad and weepy or petty and vengeful. Cool Story, Bro is very much in the latter camp, but with an alt-rock grunge twist that makes it sound less like whining about an ex and more like setting their entire personality on fire and walking away in slow motion.
This track takes the framework of something like Gabby Barrett’s “I Hope”, drags it through a ‘90s alt-rock grunge filter, and then douses it in just enough gasoline to make sure it really catches fire. The verses are all quiet, simmering resentment, delivered with the kind of sarcastic half-smirk that says, “Oh, you thought you got away with it? Cute.” Then the chorus hits; loud, raw, and unapologetically pissed off, like Alanis Morissette and Meredith Brooks high-fiving while watching your ex’s car mysteriously roll into a ditch.
The best part? It’s catchy. Like, dangerously catchy. The kind of song you belt in traffic with your sunglasses on, looking way cooler than you actually are. It’s not just a breakup anthem; it’s the soundtrack to your villain origin story. And honestly? It’s about time.
“Cool Story, Bro” is loud, cathartic and it’s exactly what you need if you’ve ever rolled your eyes so hard at an ex’s excuses that you nearly sprained something.
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About the Author
A tenured media critic known working as a ghost writer, freelance critic for publications in the US and former lead writer of Atop The Treehouse. Reviews music, film and TV shows for media aggregators.
